Skywalker Psychoanalysis
by Adventure-Seeking-Juliet
Summary: AU Anakin didn’t turn. 17years post ROTS. Padme and Leia decide that Luke and Anakin need to go to therapy to try to fix their slipping relationship; the poor therapist might need therapy by the time it’s over. Three-Shot
1. Skywalker Syndrome

**Skywalker Psychoanalysis**

Written by: Adventure-Seeking-Juliet

When: Listening to All Time Low

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, or any part of it.

A/N AU Anakin didn't turn. 17years post ROTS. Padme and Leia decide that Luke and Anakin need to go to therapy to try to fix their slipping relationship; the poor therapist might need therapy by the time it's over. Three-Shot.

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Part I- Skywalker Syndrome

A shiny, convertible air-speeder shot into a parking space at the, Coruscant Therapy and Mental Rehabilitation Center.

"I cannot believe that they made us come to be _psychoanalyzed," _Anakin complained.

Luke narrowed his eyes," We wouldn't have this problem if _you _weren't overly critical of every thing I do!"

"I am not overly critical! I just find your recklessness tiring!"

Luke snorted," Right, I forgot, you're not reckless at all," Luke's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Do not use sarcasm against me, _Padawan."_

"I wouldn't dream of it, _Master."_

The two wore matching scowls when they entered the Therapy Center.

An old, rusted, droid came out to greet them. It glanced at their faces, and concluded," You must be the Skywalkers."

Luke rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I am, Tee-Five, your psychoanalyst, Dr. Barzzen, will be with you shortly. I am instructed to tell you that if you require anything, I shall obtain it for you."

"You're _instructed?" _Anakin repeated, incredulous.

"Do you think I actually want to do everything I am told?" Tee-Five's emotionless voice didn't match his irritated comment.

Anakin stifled a laugh. And he thought Threepio had problems!

Luke was already sitting a stiff-backed chair on the other side of the room, staring at the Holovid.

Anakin sighed, and sunk into an equally uncomfortable chair, and used the Force to pick up a parenting magazine on the table.

He scanned the index until he finally landed on what sounded like a helpful article-_**What to do when you experience a 'falling out' with your child.**_

Anakin flipped to the page, and began reading. The magazine seemed to be saying that he should try to talk to his son more often, and that he should show Luke respect and freedom…

If he showed Luke freedom there would no longer be a galaxy for Luke to be free in.

With another sigh, Anakin picked up the next magazine, _**Raising the Force-Sensitive Child.**_

Now that magazine sounded helpful!

Unfortunately, by the time Anakin was just beginning to enjoy the magazine, Tee-Five had returned to notify them that Dr. Barzzen was ready to see them.

Anakin stood quickly, and looked around to make sure no one was looking; he then proceeded to stick the magazine inside his Jedi robes.

He would return it…later.

Dr. Barzzen's office was typically styled, with white-washed walls, and black hovering chairs that were much more comfortable than the ones in the lobby.

Anakin and Luke soon discovered that Bid-Ails Barzzen was a Cerean much like Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. It was obvious with his towering head that housed his binary brains.

"Ah," Barzzen commented," You must be Anakin and Luke Skywalker. It is a pleasure to finally meet the legendary Skywalker Jedi."

Luke grinned, and Anakin felt the corners of his own mouth twitching at the compliment.

"First, I will analyze both of you separately, then I would like both of you to tell me how you feel about the other," Barzzen explained," …Luke you may go first."

Luke glowered at his father, who only smiled and pulled out his magazine.

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Anakin used the Force to grab a pen off of Dr. Barzzen's desk.

The magazine was being very helpful, but now he had to fill out a checklist, apparently the writer of the article, who went by the pename of 'Wise Ben' suggested that if Anakin answered yes to every statement on the checklist his son might have the SS.

Anakin didn't know what the SS was, but he was guessing it was not to be underestimated.

_1. Your child shows little respect to yourself or other authority figures. _Anakin sighed and wrote, **_Yes._**

_2. He or She has a tendency to show reckless impulses. **Yes.**_

_3. Your child tends to complain of you being 'overly critical', and 'unfair.' **YES!**_

_4. He or She makes snide comments. **Yes.**_

_5. He or She always boasts about their abilities and acts arrogant. **Yes.**_

_If you answered yes to all of these questions, I am sorry to inform you that your son or daughter has the _**Skywalker Syndrome.**

_~Wise Ben~_

Anakin was gaping at the magazine," SKYWALKER SYNDROME?!"

There was only one person who could have written that article...Obi-Wan Kenobi.

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Barzzen and Luke were sitting at opposite ends of a long table. Barzzen's chair was raised up so that it towered over Luke's own chair, and an uncomfortably bright light was shining in Luke's eyes.

"What is this? An interrogation?!" Luke demanded, glaring up at the doctor through the harsh light.

Dr. Barzzen chuckled," Of course not, Padawan Skywalker. Anything you say to me will remain strictly confidential."

Luke blinked rapidly," So my father won't hear any of this?"

"Not a word."

Luke smiled, "Ask away then."

"Okay. Would you say your father and you had a strong relationship when you were younger?"

Luke said nothing for a moment, and then finally began to speak," We used to do everything together. We would prank people, and do reckless stunts, and annoy Obi-Wan…"

"When did that begin to change?" Barzzen prodded.

"Several years ago, the first dark Jedi since the Clone Wars were discovered on Coruscant. They were called The Shimmer and Leeto. My sister, Meta Dogu, Iulio Antilles, Han Solo, Ayslyn Kenobi, and I were the ones who found them. They were holding Princess Si'letti of Velmor hostage. After that, my father slowly began to change."

Barzzen nodded," What were these changes exactly?"

"Well" Luke paused," They were subtle at first. He wouldn't do any more pranks, and slowly it became almost like he was a harsher version of Obi-Wan."

Barzzen nodded again, and scribbled on his data pad. After that the 'interrogation' continued on.

"Why do you believe your father is overly critical?"

Luke considered the question for a moment. "I don't know. He just is. Nothing I do is ever enough, and according to him I'm always wrong."

"Do you believe you're always wrong?" Dr. Barzzen asked, still scribbling away on his data pad.

"No. You see, my father is the one who is wrong. I am usually right, but he chooses not to see it!"

Dr. Barzzen pursed his lips," Mhhhmmm."

Then the doctor continued to ask Luke personal questions about his likes, dislikes, friends, and family.

After what seemed like years, Luke stepped back into the office.

Now his father could endure the never ending irritation of being psychoanalyzed.

A/N Okay, This a three-shot. Originally it was a one-shot, but I hate writing such a long story in one chapter. Please review, it will help me to write!


	2. A Bad Feeling

**Skywalker Psychoanalysis**

**Written by: Adventure-Seeking-Juliet **

**When: Listening to All Time Low**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. At all. Not even a tiny bit.**

**Info: Okay this is part of a series of short or long stories. Please read them in this order, My Heart, Attack of the Padawans, The Masters Strike Back, The Pranking Menace, Nightmare Tribulation, Escapade Via Skywalker, Farewell My Friend, Reclaiming Family, Teenage Terror, Skywalker Psychoanalysis, and Love and Destrustion.**

**A/N This part two, and I'm dreadfully sorry for any waiting you had to do. School just started back, and I had some other..uh..things going on, but hopefully I will finish this three-shot in a couple days, and I can begin the next fic in this series.**

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**Part II- A Bad Feeling**

Anakin was, if possible, in an even worse mood than he had been when he'd entered the therapy center.

How in the name of the kreffing Force had Obi-Wan written that article without consulting him first?

Anakin's poor mood seemed to drop lower when he walked into Dr. Barzzen's office to see the dome-headed doctor smiling cheerfully.

Barzzen cleared his throat," Now, Master Skywalker, I'm going to ask you some questions. They are harmless, and no one but myself will ever hear your answers."

Anakin nodded.

" Why is your relationship with your son so strained?"

Anakin glared," Isn't it your job to answer that question?"

Barzzen coughed," Yes. Sorry...next question...Do you plan on seperating from your wife any time soon? If so, does she find binary brains attractive?"

A vein began to pulse in Anakin's head," If you touch my wife, I will kill you."

"R-right," Barzzen stuttered.

"Do you believe Luke is a talented young Jedi?"

Anakin scoffed," Luke's not a Jedi yet. He's only a padawan, and yes I do. Luke is very talented, but he is too confident."

Barzzen nodded," So obviously, Luke has a case of the _Skywalker Syndrome."_

Anakin was fuming," There is no such thing as the _Skywalker Syndrome!"_

Barzzen chuckled," I assure you, Master Skywalker, that there is a such thing as the SS. It has been in every psychology book I've studied."

"You do realize that I'm a Skywalker, don't you?"

Barzzen looked him over," Of course. You also have the Skywalker Syndrome."

Anakin couldn't take it any longer, he withdrew his lightsaber, and ignited it.

Barzzen's eyes grew wide," Perhaps you are right, Master Skywalker...th-there is no such thing as SS."

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_There must be a lot of mentally unstable people in Coruscant, _Luke thought. The therapy center had been growing more and more crowded since they had gotten there.

Infact, there was a lot of people he knew here...Luke was especially surprised when he saw Leia's "friend" Han Solo enter.

Actually, he wasn't surprised at all.

"Hey Han!" Luke waved at the smuggler.

Han muttered something in annoyance, but then sauntered over.

"What are you doing here, Solo?" Luke asked.

" Well if you think I'm a nutcase, and came here for therapy, you're wrong. I don't believe in all this psychology nonsence."

Luke rolled his eyes," Sure, Han. Why are you here then?"

"Your sister made me come check on you. Apparently she dosen't think you and your father shoud be trusted. I think I actually agree with her, for once."

"Shut up, Han."

Han waved his hands in mock surrender. " Sure thing, kid."

Suddenly, a familiar hemet caught Luke's sight.

It was Boba Fett! He was enterting a therapy room!

"Look, it's Boba Fett!" Luke cried, pointing at the retreating form.

Han whirled around," Boba Fett? Where?"

"He just went in that room!"

Han pulled out a holo-recorder.

"What are you doing?" Luke demanded. He'd expected Han to take out a blaster...not a camera.

"I can make tons of credits if I give the tabloids pictures of Boba Fett having therapy sessions!"

Luke rolled his eyes," C'mon, Han. We've got to arrest him."

Han paused," Shouldn't we get your father?"

Luke snorted," No. We can handle this!"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

A/N Okay, this was slightly short, but please review and tell me what you think.


	3. Insanity

**Skywalker Pyschoanalysis**

Written by: Adventure-Seeking-Juliet

When: Not on her computer!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, or anything that has to do with it...no matter how much I want to.

A/N Okay, this is the final installment in this chapter of my AU series. I am really really exicted about how many reviews this is getting! I honestly hope that some of the other fics in this series recieve the same amount of reviews at some point. So, I'd like to give all of you( who actually read author notes) the chance to give me suggestions on the next fic in this series! Please do:)

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Part III- Insanity

Dr. Barzzen shuffled his papers nervously, and rubbed his domed head. Anakin was seated once again, but his civility level had dropped to a bare minimum.

"Okay, Master Skywalker, your next question is, how was your relationship with your father?"

Anakin gritted his teeth, to keep from yelling," I have no father."

Dr. Barzzen snorted," I understand that Jedi are not usually raised by their parents, Master Skywalker, but that is no reason to get a smart mouth..."

Anakin clenched his fists," Look you miserable clump of poodoo, I do not have a father. If you ask one more time I'll-"

"So, I am guessing, that your mother was unsure of whom the father was?"

Anakin's resolve crumbled. No one said something bad about his mother. _No one. _

In the blink of an eye, Anakin's lightsaber had been pulled out, and it was pointed at Dr. Barzzen's throat.

"Take that back."

Dr. Barzzen gulped, but before he could reply his comm went off. In a small voice he said," I'll need to take this."

Anakin withdrew his lightsaber, but kept it ignited. This whole therapy idea had been a big mistake. Infact...maybe Padme and Leia had set them up on puropse...

As Anakin mused about the female Skywalkers evil plotting, Dr. Barzzen was forming a plan of his own.

"Bring me security, now," Dr. Barzzen barked in a hoarse whisper.

Tee-Five's voice crackled over the comm," I'm afraid that security is busy at the moment-"

"Busy?!" Barzzen exclaimed, exasperated," What could possibly demand more attention than an insane Master Jedi with a lightsaber?!"

"Well-"

" Honestly Tee-Five, it's a Skywalker. You know how those are, and he is waving his lightsaber around, practicing his killing stance!"

"Well, Sir-"

Barzzen gasped," Holy Force! He has a blaster too! What do I do, Tee-Five? Why isn't the security here yet!?"

Tee-Five started in a rush so that he would not be interrupted again," Sir, it seems we are having a slight _situation _in the waiting area. Boba Fett is holding everyone hostage, including some Jedi Padawan and a smuggler."

Barzzen blinked. Could it get any worse?

"And Chancellor Skywalker has just arrived."

Apparently so.

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"If we survive this, I'm going to kill you," Han Solo growled.

Beside him sat Luke Skywalker, whose confidence and optimism had not yet faded.

"I'm telling you, plan B will work." Luke sounded generally excited about the whole thing.

Han scoffed," You said the same thing about plan A!"

"You worry too much, Han. You're starting to sound like Threepio."

All of the other occupants of the Therapy Center were on the ground, quivering in fear, as Boba Fett stood over Luke and Han.

"Give me that camera. _Now."_ Boba Fett pointed to the holocamera in Han's hand.

Han laughed," No way, buddy. Do you know how many credits these pictures are worth?"

Fett did not reply for several moments, then he said," No. And if you do not give them to me now, neither will you."

"The only way Han will ever give you that camera is if you come with me under arrest." Luke still sounded confident, somehow.

"You," Fett pointed to the padawan," are in no place to barter with me, Skywalker."

At that moment, Chancellor Padme Skywalker, and her daughter entered the Therapy Center.

"Mom! Leia! What are you doing here?" Luke demanded.

Before either of them could reply, Fett began shooting.

The first shot narrowly missed Padme, and she paused for a second afterward to pull out her own blaster.

She aimed at Fett, but using his jet pack, he jumped up. People were running and screaming like insane bantha's, and as more and more blasters were fired, more firey holes were added to the walls of the Therapy Center.

Luke's hand went instinctively to his belt for his lightsaber, but it wasn't there.

"Sithspit," Luke cursed. Where had he put that thing?

Suddenly, it grew quiet. Dr. Barzzen stepped out of his room, but when he shut the door, the entire frame work of the room shattered and collapsed. The Therapy Center was nothing but dust.

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**_Afterward_**

Coruscant Therapy and Mental Rehabilitation Center was rebuilt at a more 'stable' location.

Wise Ben mysteriously stopped posting articles on Skywalker Syndrome.

Luke was grounded for attempted arrest of a dangerous criminal without help.

He also was grounded for losing his lightsaber...for the third time.

Han Solo and Leia Skywalker dissapeared for an hour.

Anakin was sent to anger management classes....then he was banned from the premisis.

And last but not least, Dr. Bid-Ails Barzzen was deemed mentally unstable and placed in a mental health institute.

That is what happens when you try to physcoanalyze the Skywalkers.

A/N Plzz Review!


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